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♥ Monday, July 31, 2006
10:09 PM

brokedown and burst into tears in class again. why do i get so vulnerable recently. please let me be strong again lord. i just hope to hear truthful reply for you soon. be it bad or good. i guess i should be able to take it. time heals.

people please tell me. did i really do anything wrong to get this kind of treatment from him? ive been putting so much into this r/s. and what did i get in return? nothing. just tears and worries. i get so worried when you did not return my calls nor msg not for one night but days. have you ever thought of how i felt? waiting aimlessly for your replies. wondering whether you are hurt or anything thats why you did not reply me. my mind just run wild. please dont blame me for doing that. what if i left you alone and not contacting you. tell me, is this how you think a r/s should work? i felt so being ignored and just being dumped aside. i dont believe that you are that busy till you dont have time to reply my msges when you really did saw what ive sent you. if you have the heart to reply me. you ought to replied me already and not even bother to reply me back. what is this? i gave you so much freedom. you wanna go out with your friends. fine go ahead. im seriouly okay with it. and i did not stop you from anything. what i want in return is more of your love care and concern towards me. is this real tough for you to do? if its yes, just tell me. i'll just leave. i dont wanna you and me to suffer so much if this r/s really cause such misery instead of blissfulness. or are you just treating me as shit. one moment you will be really loving towards me. the next moment you wont even give a damn to me. nothing from you for days. do you know how insecured i feels? i just felt really tired from all the tears and worries. i want an answer from you. if you really felt sick of me and this r/s. tell me. i'll end it. esle we will only be living in misery. you said you gonna treat me better, but is this how its like to be treated better? hope this is the last time i gonna tears. somehow i really get rather sick of it. no emo-ness from me. i'll be strong. real STRONG. please pray for me.

went town with shu an, mj, xinyi. things happened. i shant say. probably i felt so much better after letting everything out. met sj at kovan mac. suddenly just felt like eating alotalot. had 20 yummlicious chicken nuggets and hotfudge icecream. goodness it simply cheered me up.
aint in the mood to blog. ciaos!